Martin Petrov

[Welsh Spur]

Just read on spursweb that we're in negotiations with Atletico.....

can anyone shed any light or pass on any info???

[JuicE]

Probably more bullshit speculation! Bring on transfer deadline day.

[suBerb]

I think that to sign Petrov would be great. His pace and his ability to make assists are just outstanding.

[highlander]

i havent actually seen him play hyself but if reports are to be believed then he is something of a rough diamond

[suBerb]

Last season Athletico won twice against Barca - 2:1 H and 3:1 A - with both times Petrov being the man of the match...In the first game in Madrid all Barca stars played. This fact reveals something about his abilities. To be sure, it's not easy to be the man of the match in the presence of Ronaldinho, Eto'o, Torres, Maxi Rodrigues...

But I doubt that Athletico would let him go. Their new manager insists that he needs Petrov for he's among the best LW in Europe...

[highlander]

But I doubt that Athletico would let him go. Their new manager insists that he needs Petrov for he's among the best LW in Europe...


i dont think Athletico Madrid are in the UEFA cup this season so the chance of european football may attract him and the chance to join up with Berbie could also make us a very attractive option to the player himself

[Houdini logic]

I don't see this report anywhere..

LIES!!

[Welsh Spur]

Read 'Carrick to United' on spursweb....it's at the bottom of the article.

[Houdini logic]

Read 'Carrick to United' on spursweb....it's at the bottom of the article.

Ok, i'll let you off on THIS occasion!

(never trust a Welshman)

[Welsh Spur]

(never trust a Welshman)

Haha! And why is that?

[JuicE]

Coz you try and push sheep off cliff's? :p

[spurs61]

i havent actually seen him play hyself but if reports are to be believed then he is something of a rough diamond

I wouldn't describe Petrov as a rough diamond, he's the perfect player for us, quick, direct, puts a lovely cross in and has an eye for goal as well. The beauty is that he can also play up front if required. TBH, I haven't heard anything at all about signing him, none of my sources have ever mentioned him as a possible signing........so expect to see him in a lilywhite shirt very soon!

[JuicE]

Thanks Spur61 but what the hell has that got to do with welsh sheep? ;)

[spurs61]

Thanks Spur61 but what the hell has that got to do with welsh sheep? ;)

You're a bloody Aussie mate, I would keep very quite about molesting livestock if I were you! Get's very lonely in the outback from what I understand.........:p

[Welsh Spur]

I don't care....the sheep shagging thing is so expected now that it is actually funny, but the funniest thing is, my missus is english, she even lives in England!!!!

[JuicE]

Watch this space! I have a couple of classic Kiwi (Worse than welsh people) Jokes. :D

[spurs61]

I don't care....the sheep shagging thing is so expected now that it is actually funny, but the funniest thing is, my missus is english, she even lives in England!!!!

So you're saying that you are expected to shag sheep?! Is it part of your national duty or an obligation of your council tax?

Does the missus require vaccinations and quarantine before she leaves and enters the country or just a vetinary certificate? ;)

[spurs61]

Watch this space! I have a couple of classic Kiwi (Worse than welsh people) Jokes. :D


Ooooh, I sit next to a Kiwi, she's VERY sensative. Post all of them now, I'll let you know if I get a slap!

[Welsh Spur]

Have you actually been here? The way I go, through Wales, you don't even notice you're in England when you get there apart from a shitty sign!

And I meant the sheep jibes are expected, not physically molesting them.

[JuicE]

Ooooh, I sit next to a Kiwi, she's VERY sensative. Post all of them now, I'll let you know if I get a slap!

At risk of repeating myself!

An Aussie, A Kiwi and A West Indian are waiting patiently in the maternity ward for their wives to give birth.
After hours of waiting the doctor appears and congratulates the men on the birth of their 3 Boys.
Doctor says: Only thing is, we have had a slight problem and have mixed them up, can you please come in and identify your babies.
The Aussie Says: No Worries and walks in and picks up the black baby with the curly hair. This is my baby!
Doctor says: Are you sure? only, i would of thought that maybe that's the West indian baby!
Aussie Says: ****ing Right I'm Sure! One of them two is a ****ing Kiwi and I ain't risking it!

[spurs61]

You can do better than that, I want something REALLY offensive!

[JuicE]

Have you actually been here? The way I go, through Wales, you don't even notice you're in England when you get there apart from a shitty sign!

And I meant the sheep jibes are expected, not physically molesting them.

I spent lonely teenage days with hate filled, twisted, anti-English metalheads in the hills and valleys of Abergavenny and Crickhowell! :eek:

[spurs61]

I have spent a bit of time in the Breacon Becons and thought it very nice. I have also spent some time in Swansea.....not so nice!

[JuicE]

You can do better than that, I want something REALLY offensive!

A Kiwi walks into the local unemployment office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi! I hate being on welfare, I'd really rather have a job."

The clerk behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.

The starting salary is $200,000 a year".

The Kiwi says, "You're bullshitting me!"

The Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".

[JuicE]

Why can't Kiwi blokes take their girlfriends to the Rugby?

They eat all the grass.

[JuicE]

An Aussie, a Kiwi, and a South African are at a bar one night having a beer. All of a sudden the South African drinks his beer, takes off his diamond encrusted watch, pulls out a gun shoots the watch to pieces. He says "In Seth Efrika we have so many diamonds that we don't need to wear the same diamond twice".

The Kiwi (obviously impressed by this) drinks his beer throw his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "Wull mate, in Niw Zulland we have so much sand to make the glass that we don't need to drink out of the same cup twice".

The Australian then pulls out his gun and shoots the Kiwi.

[JuicE]

An Australian was walking down a country road in New Zealand, when he happened to glance over the fence and see a farmer goin' at it with a sheep.

The Aussie is quite taken aback by this, so he climbs the fence and walks over to the farmer.

He taps him on the shoulder and says, "You know mate, back home, we shear those!"

The New Zealander looks frantically around and says, "I'm not bloody SHEARING this with no one!"

Enough?

[JuicE]

An Aussie bloke is having a quiet drink in a bar and leans over to the big guy next to him and says, 'Do you wanna hear a Kiwi joke?

The big guy replies, 'Well mate, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 1.90 m tall, 125 kg and I played as a forward for the All Blacks."

"The guy next to me is 1.85 m, weighs 115 kg and he's an ex-All Black lock."

"Next to him is a bloke who's 2 m tall, weighs 120 kg and he's a current All Black second rower. Now do you still want to tell that Kiwi joke?"

The first bloke says, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."

Enough Yet?????? :D

[spurs61]

That's better! I'll let you know what the reaction is like.

[JuicE]

This is a real classic!

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are travelling by train to a rugby game. At the station, the three Kiwis each buy a ticket and watch with bewilderment as the three Aussiesbuy only a single ticket between them.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Kiwi.

"Watch and you’ll see", answers the Aussie.

They all board the train. The Kiwis take their respective seats but all three Aussies cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket please". The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Kiwis see this and agree it was quite a clever plan. So after the game, the Kiwis decide to copy the Aussies on the return trip and save some money, (being clever with money and all that).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for their return trip. To their astonishment, the Aussies don’t buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel ‘without’ a ticket?" asks one perplexed Kiwi. "Watch and you’ll see", answers a Aussie. When they board the train, the three Kiwis cram into a bathroom and the Aussies cram into another nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Aussies leaves and walks over to the bathroom where the Kiwis are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, "Tickets please"!!!!! :D :D :D

[petrov2spurs]

Petrov is the missing link that we have been looking for. He is better than Duff and i have been calling for him to sign for ages. He is currently unsettled in Spain as he has not gotten to grasp with the language. He even stated that he is only looking at day to day, so i feel the chance to link up with his countryman and in a country where he knows the language could be the turning point.

Come on Petrov you know it makes sense!!!

[JuicE]

You've got me on a roll! :D

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?"

New Zealander: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"

Dog: "Doin' alright."

New Zealander: (extreme look of shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?", pointing at New Zealander

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

New Zealander: (look of disbelief)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

New Zealander: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think."

Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

New Zealander: (extreme look of shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at New Zealander)

Horse: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How's he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

New Zealander: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

New Zealander: "The sheep's a liar. :rolleyes:

[JuicE]

Petrov is the missing link that we have been looking for. He is better than Duff and i have been calling for him to sign for ages. He is currently unsettled in Spain as he has not gotten to grasp with the language. He even stated that he is only looking at day to day, so i feel the chance to link up with his countryman and in a country where he knows the language could be the turning point.

Come on Petrov you know it makes sense!!!

Have you got us mixed up with some kind of football forum? :confused:

[JuicE]

There's a Kiwi rugby fan, an Australian rugby fan and a beautiful woman sitting next to each other on a train.

The train enters a tunnel and everything gets dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The woman and the Kiwi are sitting there looking perplexed. The Kiwi is bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent slap.

The Kiwi is thinking, "That Australian must have tried to kiss this lady, she thought it was me and slapped me."

The lady was thinking, "That Kiwi must have moved to kiss me and kissed the Australian instead and got slapped."

The Australian was thinking to himself.... "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that ****ing Kiwi in the head again." :D :eek:

[JuicE]

One more! OK


Why aren't there any Kiwis on Star Trek?


They don't work in the future either. :D

[Welsh Spur]

I have spent a bit of time in the Breacon Becons and thought it very nice. I have also spent some time in Swansea.....not so nice!
My Secondary school is slap bang in the middle of the Brecon Beacons, and you are right, it is nice. Swansea is rough in places, but generally quite a happening place. The coast is the best part, obviously. The rest is just your average city.

Oh, sorry to interrupt the joke session!

[JuicE]

My Secondary school is slap bang in the middle of the Brecon Beacons, and you are right, it is nice. Swansea is rough in places, but generally quite a happening place. The coast is the best part, obviously. The rest is just your average city.

Oh, sorry to interrupt the joke session!

So you should be! You must be related to the Kiwi's! :p

[suBerb]

look at a typical Petrov run (vs. Barca)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx73cZNw7ss&search=petrov

Bulagaria 3 - 1 Turkey

two goals by Berby, one by Petrov and some superb Petrov's runs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SSf2xwiJdk&NR

[Welsh Spur]

So you should be! You must be related to the Kiwi's! :p
Fair play Juice, these are shit hot jokes, I aint heard none that actually made me laugh in ages!!! Proper good!

[Welsh Spur]

look at a typical run by Petrov (vs. Barca)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx73cZNw7ss&search=petrov
I want to see this guy steaming down the left at White Hart Lane next season. Without out a doubt.

[spurs61]

look at a typical run by Petrov (vs. Barca)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx73cZNw7ss&search=petrov

Sod Petrov, where's the Kiwi jokes!


Juice mate, the reaction over here is somewhere in between apoplectic and nuclear. Keep 'em coming!!!!!

[JuicE]

Check the jokes sections! ;) PPL r gettin bored i suspec!

[JuicE]

How do you know when a kiwi has been in your fridge?
There is love bites on your leg of lamb!

You lot are making me run out! :rolleyes:

[JuicE]

A major earthquake, measuring 9.1 on the Richter scale has hit New Zealand
this morning.

350,000 New Zealanders are missing, and over 100,000 have been reported
injured.

The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to
start with providing help . . .

The rest of the world is in shock:

Canada is sending troops to assist the country

The USA is sending food, medical aid and money

France is sending doctors, nurses and medical supplies

Russia is sending tents and warm clothing

Australia is sending 350,000 replacement Kiwis . . .

[mjbmedia]

so do you hate kiwis more than you hate ashes winning poms???

[JuicE]

Nah! The sun shine on a dogs arse every now and again! ;)

[mjbmedia]

good jokes tho. im moving out there next year (WA) do you get to see may spurs games on the telly

[JuicE]

Yes! quite a few but later at night due to the time dif. For me 12 midnight but WA maybe 10.30PM. Visit Ozspurs.com for all your info and live games!

[mjbmedia]

nice one cheers

[suBerb]

DAILY MIRROR:



* Spurs are lining up a move for Atletico Madrid star Martin Petrov


Petrov said yesterday that he snubed three bids this summer. He wants to stay at Atletico.

[petrov2spurs]

where did you read that

[suBerb]

where did you read that


interview for the spanish newspaper AS


I hope that's not the end of the story for it would be great to sign him

Mirror:

Bulgarian left-sided midfielder Petrov is Jol's top target

[petrov2spurs]

but you don't know what clubs have been in for him. if they wre all spanish then he might felt it would b better off staying in madrid.
the fact that he is a good friend of db9 might swing it in our favour

[Danishspurs]

DAILY MIRROR:



* Spurs are lining up a move for Atletico Madrid star Martin Petrov


Petrov said yesterday that he snubed three bids this summer. He wants to stay at Atletico.
He has to say that if none of the offers were interesting... If he said he didn't want to stay in Atletico and he had no interesting offers on hand he would put himself in a very bad situation. Then he would spent the entire year on the bench...

[Welsh Spur]

Good point. Let's hope then.....

....come on DB9, and come on MJ! Get it done!

[suBerb]

He has to say that if none of the offers were interesting... If he said he didn't want to stay in Atletico and he had no interesting offers on hand he would put himself in a very bad situation. Then he would spent the entire year on the bench...


the new manager told him that he will be his first-choice LM

[Shuggie13]

He has to say that if none of the offers were interesting... If he said he didn't want to stay in Atletico and he had no interesting offers on hand he would put himself in a very bad situation. Then he would spent the entire year on the bench...


Unfortunately the Daily Mirror is as about as accurate about transfers as a blind man at an archery contest.

[onthejazzin77]

So we are ruling out a move for any Kiwi left wingers then?

[SCIFIN17YID]

Unfortunately the Daily Mirror is as about as accurate about transfers as a blind man at an archery contest.

Loooooooool dude that shit was funny, hehe, anyway guys who or what the heck is db9 ? I want MJ to make the magic happen more and get in Marting P.

[Keanoldinho]

Loooooooool dude that shit was funny, hehe, anyway guys who or what the heck is db9 ? I want MJ to make the magic happen more and get in Marting P.


Dimitar Berbatov #9 and I want MGP for 10mil he's proven quality in England and always shows up for the big games.

[suBerb]

Dimitar Berbatov #9 and I want MGP for 10mil he's proven quality in England and always shows up for the big games.


who is MGP?

[Danishspurs]

who is MGP?
I think its Morten Gamst Pedersen... Quality left winger, set piece specialist and score his share of goals... But hasn't he just extended his contract at Blackburn??

[suBerb]

I think its Morten Gamst Pedersen... Quality left winger, set piece specialist and score his share of goals... But hasn't he just extended his contract at Blackburn??

thanks mate

the same story was with Duff. he extended and was sold...

[petrov2spurs]

http://www.elmundodeportivo.es/20060730/NOTICIA225649057.html

A story about petrov coming to spurs. Can anyone translate it?

[petrov2spurs]

Actually i have just found a translation site. Here is the story ranslated, it sounds quite interesting.


'The Athletic one of Madrid does not have nor a minute of breathing. The preceding weeks have been for the colchoneros a constant of information that aimed at the interest of diverse European clubs to take control of the services of some of their more important players. To the Kezman, Maxi, Pablo or Fernando Torres will be necessary to add the one to him of Martin Petrov again. The Bulgarian player is in the front sight of one of the great clubs of the “Premier English League”. One is the Totteham London Hotspurs, that, according to the British press prepares a supply by the Bulgarian player to reinforce its group. The edition of yesterday of the 'Daily “Mirror” assured that the “Spurs” very is interested in taking control of the left-handed end although the season completed during the course passed in the Athletic one of Madrid was not all the good one that it had been desired. Manager of the capital equipment, Martin Jol, wants that rojiblanco reinforces its group and prepares a supply with the money entered after the sale from Michael Carrick the Manchester United in which it obtained almost 22 million euros. The team of White Hart Line has designed an ambitious project facing the season that is approached with incorporations like the one of the native from Ivory Coast Didier Zokora (originating of Saint Ettienne) or of the Bulgarian Dimitar Berbatov. Indeed this one, is one of the reclamations to convince to Petrov so that it undertakes the English adventure: to have a compatriot in the group. Aguirre has him It is not the first time that is spoken of a possible exit of Petrov of the equipment. During the last weeks, the Bulgarian has counted with the offers of diverse clubs. The Turkish Galatasaray went first in entering the arena, Eric Gerets, old trainer his in Germany, wanted to him to its side. In spite of it, the most interested it was the Fiorentina. Nevertheless, Javier Aguirre has communicated to the direction of the colchonero club as well as the own player who counts on like one of the strong men of the project. On the other hand, the club understands that the interior has to explode after one season of connection

[DarlinginJapan]

I couldn't have said it better myself!

[choda]

Very legible... impressive. How did you do that? And where's the site?

[JJ]

On the other hand, the club understands that the interior has to explode after one season of connection

It's true. Interior explosions are essential after that one season of connection.

[shoot_ffs]

i suffer with interior explosions, causing many to flee and avoid me on other occasions.
the story is only quoting the daily mirror anyway.